The Epson ET-3958 Setup Guide They Forgot to Write
After much research, including using AI, and recommendations from several friends, I recently purchased a brand-new Epson ET-3958 printer after reading/hearing all the glowing recommendations. “How hard can installation be?” I thought.
Famous last words, even my best friends concealed the adventure I was about to experience.
Five hours later, I had become an expert in frustration, a part-time detective, and a full-time student of Murphy’s Law.
The printer and I quickly established our relationship. It was almost an adversarial one. I wanted to print. Epson wanted to teach me patience.
Their website was especially helpful, if your lifelong dream was to get a sip of knowledge from a fire hose.
I clicked Support. Support clicked back… “Check our website…” The website offered manuals, FAQs, firmware, videos, registration pages, warranty information, mobile apps, and enough links to qualify as a spider web. What it didn’t offer was the one thing I wanted:
“Hello, Ed. Welcome. Let’s get your printer working.”
After several attempts, Windows finally recognized the printer, and—hallelujah! — it printed a test page. I celebrated like I’d just landed Apollo 11 on the Moon.
But the joy of the accomplishment was short lived. The scanner had other plans.
Every attempt ended with mysterious error messages that sounded as though they had been translated from Martian into English by someone who spoke neither language.
The printer politely informed me: “Please install Epson ScanSmart software.”
Wonderful idea. Now if only someone could tell me where it was hiding.
After another journey through Epson’s online maze, I finally surrendered and called technical support. Fortunately, I reached a Level 2 technician who, unlike the website, apparently knew the secret handshake.
Within minutes, he said “we have another secret program” and I’ll send it to you via email . It is only known to Epson insiders and it is called Epson Scan 2, so don’t tell anyone. He had it hidden away like buried treasure in the lower drawer of his desk. A few clicks later, after installation, the scanner sprang to life as though nothing had ever been wrong.
I thanked him profusely and hustled off for a badly needed nature break.
And all the while the printer just sat there looking innocent. Somehow it knew that it wasn’t finished with me, ’cause it had another trick up its sleeve. Almost everyone has a “printer war” story, but let me finish mine.
Now I had to scan a 6 page document. So, back to the instruction book which of course was no help, and with the case number that the Level 2 Tech had given me, I called Epson again.
The Support Staff was still laughing over their victory with a senior citizen and I was assigned to a tech that had no notion of what a multi-feed option was. It was the blind leading the blind, but after an hour and a half, I figured it all out.
I wasn’t fooled. The moral of the story? Sometimes technology doesn’t fail. It simply assumes we’re all graduates of the International Academy of Guessing What the Programmer Meant.
The good news is that the ET-3958 is now working beautifully. It prints quickly, scans perfectly, and even the document feeder behaves—once someone tells you how to use it.
So here’s my advice: Don’t judge a printer by its first 6 hours. Judge it by the first document it successfully scans after you’ve considered replacing it with a typewriter.
And if you’re currently setting up a new printer, remember this:
Coffee helps. Chocolate helps more. And having a Level 2 technician on speed dial isn’t a bad idea either.
“Electricity has always made perfect sense to me. Apparently, printer software engineers still have a few things to learn.”
Yours Truly, Ed Kramer
Your copy of The Theory Of Electricity is reserved: CTOE INTRO
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